The Ladies' Man
by Marie McKinnon
Summary: James is stuck--he's dated and dumped every girl his age in Gryffindor, and a ball is coming up. What\\\\\\\'s he gonna do?
1. The Real Meaning of 'Purple In the Face'

The Ladies' Man  
a bout with insanity written by Marie McKinnon  
  
"Padfoot, I need your help! C'mon, gimme a break," called a tall sixth year Hogwarts  
student. His shock of black hair stuck up all over the place, and his eyes were wide with  
helplessness. By most standards, he was actually quite handsome.  
  
"What inow?/i" Another sixth year boy asked, from the uncomfortable position of  
dangling over the side of his bed.  
  
James sat up on his knees, begging. "I need help. You know the ball next week?"  
  
Sirius snorted. "Who doesn't? Don't tell me you don't have a date yet. I would've  
thought that the girls were crawling all over you."  
  
"Oh, shut it. I've dated and dumped all the girls in Gryffindor, and I'm not going with  
someone from another House. It'd be like saying the Gryffindor girls weren't good enough for  
me, and they are, I s'pose. So who d'I ask?"  
  
"Let me ponder this for a moment." Sirius' face lit with an insane, evil grin. "You haven't  
dated and dumped iall/i the girls in Gryffindor," he said slyly.  
  
James blushed bright red. "Don't start that, Sirius. I'm not going with Evans."  
  
"It's not like she isn't cute. And you know you wanna ask 'er, Prongs."  
  
"I do not! Why would I ask her when all the other girls are throwing themselves at my  
feet?" He put on a smug look, which was quickly wiped away by a pat on the back from Sirius.   
iHe hits too hard,/i James thought.  
  
"You do, and you know it. Evans is drop dead gorgeous, and you better believe she'll  
take you if you ask. Just ask her after class or something, she doesn't hang around with  
anybody."  
  
"No. I am not asking that pint-size ***** to go to the ball with me. Okay, so she's cute,  
but not good enough for me," he snapped.  
  
Sirius pulled out his wand, and aimed it at James's face. "Either you ask her or I curse  
you. You just don't want to face the potential embarrassment if she shuts you out, which, I  
guarantee, won't happen. So get your *** down into the common room and ask. You're the  
ladies' man, she won't turn you down."  
  
A minute or so later, James came in with purple skin and a large welt across his face.  
  
"What'd she say?" Sirius asked, his back turned.  
  
James turned him around. "What do you think?"  
  
"Erm, 'yes?'"  
  
"**** no! She hit me!"  
  
"Good for her. You have too much confidence with girls anyway," muttered Remus from  
the other side of the room.  
  
As James walked over to throttle Remus, an imperious tut came from outside the door.  
  
Lily walked away, smiling to herself. "So much for the 'ladies' man.'"  
  
Disclaimer: Hee hee hee. I'm evil. I wanted Lily to refuse him in the end, or maybe  
accept and have a good scene with them dancing--but no. She's feisty, and I won't write her any  
other way. 'Kay, I don't own Lily, James, Sirius, or Remus, the Hogwarts Houses, Gryffindor,  
the common room, etc. They belong to JKR, the All Powerful Authoress that brought us to our  
knees, begging for more. REVIEW OR I WILL TRACK YOU DOWN AND EAT YOU FOR  
BREAKFAST! With sugar, of course... 


	2. Oh, Really?

Oh, Really?  
Chapter Two of 'The Ladies' Man'  
by Marie McKinnon  
  
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. If I get reviews for this chapter, I'll thank you  
all by name. *makes big puppy eyes and begs on hands and knees* That being finished, this  
chapter starts just after Lily walks away from the dormitory. She's just insulted James and turned  
him different colors. You know all that if you've read the first chapter, but I decided to go back  
over it anyway, in case I forget. So she tutted when James said something, and went back to her  
dorm. He heard her and now is continuing his dialogue.  
  
*  
  
"What was that?" James demanded.  
  
"I didn't hear anything, you're probably just imagnining things," Remus said. "As usual."  
  
"I'm not imagining things! Somebody tutted, like McGonagall does when she thinks  
you're being stupid on purpose."  
  
"You were being stupid on purpose. After all, you asked Evans to the ball," Sirius said.  
  
"I asked her? You made me ask her! If anything, you're the stupid one! And now I'm  
purple!"  
  
"It becomes you," Remus joked.   
  
"Oh, really? Would you like to have purple skin as well?"  
  
"No, sorry, I think it's just a James Potter fashion statement. I'm much too pale for it to  
work."  
  
"Ha ha ha. That was so funny I forgot to laugh. I'm going out there and finding out who  
was here. If it was Evans she's in such deep trouble, girls aren't allowed up here."  
  
"Oh, really? I didn't know girls weren't allowed up here, why didn't you tell me?" Sirius  
retorted, dripping sarcasm. James rolled his eyes and left the dorm, hoping to catch the culprit as  
they went down the stairs.   
  
He paused at the top of the stairs and summoned his Invisibility Cloak. A large row over  
someone with purple skin was all he needed. Silently, holding his breath because it was too loud,  
James crept down the boys' staircase and tiptoed up to the girls' dormitories. The door to Lily's  
dorm was closed. Wishing for the ability to become insubstantial, he pushed it open. It silently  
glided over the carpeted floor. James let out a breath. Just as the door was wide open, it creaked  
loudly. A lump on one of the beds popped up. For an instant he thought he was visible; it felt  
like the lump was looking right at him. It was Evans.   
  
"Just a wind, then," she said aloud. "Wait, a wind inside a castle? That's impossible.   
You're going crazy, Lil. First Potter asks you to the ball, then doors get blown open without  
wind. What's next, a flying pig?" One of Hagrids new creatures, a pig with wings, flew past he  
window. "Okay, okay, I take it back. But it's still weird. Why would Potter ask me anyway?   
Does he not hate me as much as I thought he did?" She got up and crossed the room to shut the  
door, but paused to say "That's just silly. I'm the only girl in Gryffindor that he hasn't dated, so  
I'm the only one available to ask to the dance. That's the answer. Potter's just an obnoxious  
b******. Keep saying that. Potter's a b******. Potter's a b******. Potter's a--"   
  
THUMP  
  
Inevitably, Lily had walked right into James. They both fell down, James knocking his  
head into the door and letting the Cloak slip off. Lily just sat down hard and glared.  
  
"You're a b******, you know that, Potter?"  
  
"Oh, really? I hadn't guessed," he said sarcastically. "You were tutting at us, weren't  
you? C'mon, fess up, we know it was you."  
  
"Oh, really? If you knew, why are you asking?"  
  
"Cause the other guys don't believe me. I have no idea why they were laughing at me.   
I'm not stupid!--"  
  
"Oh, really? That's a new one. Did the fact that your skin is purple ever occur to you?   
You're purple, you know that, right?"  
  
"Oh, really? I'm purple? I never would've guessed! And who do you suppose turned me  
purple in the first place?"  
  
"I did, of course," she grinned.  
  
"Oh, really? What if you suddenly turned purple? I don't think you'd like it very much!"  
  
"Oh, really? Doesn't everybody like being purple?"  
  
"I most certainly don't!"  
  
"Oh, really? I'm very surprised, you seemed overjoyed."  
  
"You're b****, Evans."  
  
"Oh, really? In that case, I suppose you wouldn't mind green polka dots..." She flicked  
her wand before James could protest. It looked like he'd caught a very bad case of chicken pox.   
Flustered, he put his Cloak on again and dashed to his dormitory.  
  
"Prongs, you've got spots," laughed Sirius when James took the Cloak off.  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
Disclaimer: I now have a polka-dotted James and an angry Lily. Wonder what happens next? I  
don't own the colors purple or green or the words 'oh, really?' Sirius, Remus, James, Lily,  
Gryffindor, Hogwarts, etc. belong to Her Imperial Majesty Joanne Kathleen Rowling. REVIEW  
OR I'LL -- I'LL -- I'LL EAT YOU FOR LUNCH! With ketchup this time... 


	3. The Perfect Date

The Perfect Date  
Chapter Three of 'The Ladies' Man'  
by (you guessed it) Marie McKinnon  
  
A/N: Okay, so you know where the last chapter ended. James had purple skin and green  
polka dots. I'm skipping ahead a bit. He's gotten rid of the multi-colors and is perfectly normal.   
It's closer to the ball, and he still hasn't gotten a date. He and his dorm-mates are fantasizing.  
  
*  
  
"This is pitiful," Sirius said. "We're the most popular people in school and we still haven't  
found a decent girl to take to the ball."  
  
"Better to go alone than to go with Evans," James muttered, rolling his eyes. "It took five  
cleansing charms to get that color off, and I'm still seeing spots!"  
  
"Maybe your glasses need adjusting," sniggered Remus. He ducked a charm James sent  
his way, throwing himself down on the bed. Poor, unsuspecting Peter, not paying attention, was  
hit instead. A pair of granny's spectacles with beaded chains appeared, blancing perfectly on the  
tip. When he tried to take them off, they refused, tightening their hold on the bridge of his nose.   
  
  
"HELP! Get 'em off! Get 'em off!" He yelled.   
  
Sirius and Remus, unaware of the pain the glasses were causing their friend, could hardly  
hold back their laughter. Only when they couldn't breathe for laughing so hard did they stop, and  
even then they wheezed silently.  
  
"Ooops, sorry, Peter," James laughed. He righted his friend, who immediately clamped  
his hand over his nose.  
  
"Too right you are," Peter said in a muffled tone, not having removed the hand from his  
nose.   
  
"Back to the point, though," Remus said, straightening. "You two need to find someone  
to take to the ball. Any suggestions?"  
  
"She has to be cute, and not so modest that she won't wear a short skirt," Sirius said  
dreamily. "Curly blonde hair, big blue eyes, the works."   
  
"You're dreaming, Padfoot. There're no girls like that here. Sounds like your dream date  
will remain a dream, I'm afraid."  
  
"Well, at least I have some idea of what I want. Of course, we all know James wants his  
girl to look just like this--" He whirled his wand carefully, creating a holographic image floating in  
the air. It had bright red hair hanging gracefully to its shoulders, pretty green eyes with long  
lashes, a slim build, and a very tight pair of jeans on with a Mexican-style blouse. All in all, it  
looked like Lily would if she wore Muggle clothes to school.  
  
"Very funny," James said. It was without its usual fervor, though, and he had turned a  
rather pinkish colour. Remus, Sirius, and Peter grinned.  
  
"Admit it, Prongs," Padfoot insisted. "You think she's cute, right?"  
  
"I don't *think*--"  
  
"No kidding," Remus muttered.  
  
James glared and continued. "As I was saying, I don't *think* she's cute. She is cute,  
and you know it."  
  
"Whatever you say," his friend muttered disbelievingly. James turned redder.  
  
"I don't like her!"  
  
"Right, Prongs. And I'm going to volunteer to referee for the next Thunderers-Warriors  
match."  
  
"I don't!" He turned his head to look at the miniature Lily, who was now, with Remus's  
addition of a mini-James, slow dancing with him. As he watched, his miniature bent down and  
kissed her. "Hey! What the H*** do you think you're doing?"  
  
"I don't *think*--"  
  
It was James's turn to retort. "Too right you don't."  
  
"Ha ha ha. I don't *think* I'm doing anything. I *know* I'm getting you to admit  
something about a certain someone that you think is hot..."  
  
"I never said that!"  
  
"Ah, but you were thinking it. I know you too well," Remus added.  
  
"So what if I was? I can think someone is hot without having a crush on her, can't I?"  
  
"Not if it's Evans, you can't."  
  
"You're all impossible! I don't like her!"  
  
"You just keep telling yourself that, Prongs. You're hopeless, you know that? We could  
stop all this right now if you'd just admit it--"  
  
"I have nothing to admit!"  
  
"Of course not," Sirius said sarcastically. "I'm in charge here, and I say--"  
  
"Who died and made you Headmaster?"  
  
"Wish you would."  
  
"Ha ha ha. I'm leaving." Desperate for an escape, he grabbed his broom out of his trunk  
and jumped out the window with it, zooming across the snowy grounds.  
  
"Think we should go after him?" Peter asked lazily.  
  
"Nah," Remus replied. "I'm pretty sure Evans is out there, so with any luck they ought to  
run into each other."  
  
*  
  
True enough, Lily was flying around the grounds on her broom. All the other girls in her  
dormitory ever talked about was the ball. The ball this, the ball that, the ball's in two days, the  
ball dress I have is too long... She'd had about as much as she could take of the incessant ball-talk. Even worse, Arabella kept insisting that she liked James Potter. Potter, bah! The git.   
Always bothering her, sarcastic, pretending to be her best friend. It drove her mad. His words  
and images were always in her head. It's just because I don't like him, she told herself. If she'd  
cared to examine her feelings, maybe she would've come to a different conclusion, but her overall  
grumpiness toward the one person who made her so unsure of herself wouldn't let her.   
  
A confectioner's sugar powdering of the trees and castle roofs made the whole world  
sparkle, as though hundreds of diamonds had exploded and the diamond dust covered the earth.   
Crisp, cold air forced its way down her throat, burning it and cooling her ruffled temper. Nothing  
was better for grumpiness than the serene beauty of nature. Wind blowing her hair back, Lily  
enjoyed the speed capabilities of her broom and allowed it to go where it wanted.   
  
*  
  
A red flag fluttered in the air. A flag? Now how did that get there? James asked himself.   
Cautiously flying in closer, he saw that it wasn't cloth. It was red hair flying out in the breeze,  
accompanied by ruddy cheeks, sparkling eyes, and a lithe figure gripping a broomstick. He cursed  
silently. After everything everyone had said, the one person he had to see while he was trying to  
be alone would be Lily Evans. It had to be. Fate had turned around and pushed him off his  
broomstick. Quietly, so she wouldn't suspect that he had been watching her, he sped off in the  
opposite direction.  
  
Unfortunately, being the genius that he was, James had forgotten that there was a tree  
right behind him. He flew straight into the branch. Its long, raking twigs scratched his face and  
tore his robes. Shocked, he was hit in the stomach by the long limb, getting the wind knocked out  
of him and losing his grip on the broom. It flew on, oblivious to the fact that its rider was  
elsewhere.  
  
Lily, hearing a tremendous crack, turned around to see her least favourite person holding  
onto a tree branch for dear life. At first it seemed funny. After all, who in the wizarding world  
sits in a tree to spy on someone when they've got a perfectly good broom to use? On second  
glance, she realized that he had flown into the tree and lost his broom. To prevent himself from  
falling and impaling himself on the towers below, he'd grabbed onto the branch. Survival instinct,  
of course. His survival instinct was strong, but his grip on the tree, slippery from the snow, was  
quickly weakening. As she watched, he clawed the air and fell, robes billowing out into a cloud of  
black.  
  
Throwing her dislike for him to the winds, Lily urged her broom forwards and reached for  
his collar, hoping to grab on before he landed. Her fingers curled around a bit of fabric.   
Straining to get a better grip on his collar, she flew to the roof of Gryffindor Tower, where older  
students sometimes went to 'be alone.' James was confused. Why the h*** had he stopped  
falling? Who had him around the neck? Why was he about to bash into a dirty great building?   
Realizing at the last second that her charge couldn't clear the building, Lily jerked her broom  
upwards just in time to land in a heap. She fell off her broom before it stopped, managing, by  
pure chance, to land on the stone and get the wind knocked out of her before James fell on top.  
  
"Oof," he said.  
  
"How eloquent," Lily gasped. James rolled his eyes. Even when she's just saved my life  
she acts like a b****, he muttered to himself. He opened his eyes and realized that yes, he was on  
top of Lily, and no, she wasn't happy about it. His bangs were in her face, obscuring her vision.   
There were many things he could have done in that position. He chose to remain where he was  
and wait for instruction from his companion.   
  
It wasn't long in coming. "Get off, Potter," she demanded.  
  
"What if I don't want to? What if I want to do this instead?" He kissed her softly, sinking  
into it. Before he could get very far, however, she moved her arms. He thought it was to wrap  
them around his neck and pull him closer. Wishful thinking on his part. She pushed his shoulders  
up until he was arms length away.  
  
"If you want to do that instead, go get yourself a girlfriend."  
  
"I've got a girlfriend," he muttered.  
  
"Oh, really?"  
  
"Yes, really," James insisted.  
  
"Who's the unlucky gal?"  
  
"You, of course."  
  
"Me? When did I consent to that?"  
  
James tickled her under the arms. She let go immediately and he fell like a rock, landing  
on her stomach again. Sitting up, he proceeded to tickle her stomach and ribs, neck and  
shoulders. She sat up and was forced down again, this time by a severe tickling sensation in her  
stomach.   
  
Relenting, he admitted, "You didn't consent to anything. I inferred it."  
  
"Inferred from what? The fact that I hate your guts?"  
  
"You saved my life. If you hated me, you would've let me fall."  
  
"It was a reflex, okay? If someone falls off a broom, I immediately try and help them. I'm  
not inhuman!"  
  
James grinned and stood up, putting out a hand for her to grab. "You will be by the time  
I'm done."  
  
Just to be obstinate, she refused his offered help and stood up by herself. "I won't be  
around to see that," she observed. She snatched her broom off the floor and jumped off the roof,  
flying back to her dormitory.  
  
"D***," he thought aloud. Many thoughts were running through his head, especially  
'what'd you stop kissing her for? You could've kept going!' (the fact that she had indeed  
been wearing tight muggle jeans and a Mexican blouse was among the few that registered).   
Realization hit a second later.   
  
"How'm I going to get down?"  
  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anybody. They're all J.K's. Tired of trying to make these funny.   
Oh, and I lied. I'll thank all of you wonderful reviewers when I'm done with the whole thing.   
No, I have no idea when that will be, so don't bother asking. Do any of you want this to turn out  
to be a romance? I could do that. If you want, of course. I live to serve you. *bows down low*   
REVIEW OR I'LL DO SOMETHING REALLY MEAN THAT I'M TOO LAZY TO THINK  
OF RIGHT NOW! 


	4. Some Like It Hot

Some Like It Hot  
Chapter Four of 'The Ladies' Man'  
by, of course, Marie McKinnon  
  
  
A/N: This is going better than I thought. All you wonderful reviewers ( I thank you on  
bended knee) have taken this little idea from a one or two page short story to a four-chapter  
shindig. Maybe that wasn't the right word, but I don't really care. It's too early in the morning  
to care. Only 6:30 A.M. You see how early I get up for you people? Never mind. On with the  
story!  
  
*  
  
At breakfast the next day James was still nowhere to be found. His chums didn't worry  
about it much, though. They thought he'd just come in late and allowed himself a bit of a lie-in so  
he wouldn't collapse the next day. Lily, not to be bothered with that type of thing, ate hungrily.   
Even though James's disappearance directly concerned her, she didn't care about him any more  
than she cared about the mud on the bottom of her shoe.  
  
When he didn't show up in time for Potions, though, Sirius started to get worried. He  
scanned the room urgently, praying to find something he'd missed. No luck. If James was in the  
room, he was doing a very good job of disguising it.   
  
"James? James, are you here?" The professor asked. Her only answer was silence.   
"Does anyone know where James is?"  
  
"He didn't come down to breakfast this morning, but he wasn't taken sick last night  
because he never came in," Remus answered.  
  
Lily paled. She'd left James on top of Gryffindor Tower all night. Panic bubbled in her  
throat. It wasn't enough to tell them where he'd gone. No, she had to find him herself and  
apologise. If he was still alive to apologise to.  
  
"I know where he is, Professor," Lily spoke up. "I'll go get him."  
  
Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged puzzled looks. How on Earth would Lily know  
where their friend was? What had she and James been doing?   
  
They would never know. She leapt out of her seat and walked calmly to the door, then  
started into a jog. The broom cupboard was on the other side of the school, but she could easily  
get there in time. In time for what? She asked herself. There isn't a schedule for saving a person.   
Speeding up, with the cupboard in sight, she let her breath come in loud pants. Puffs of vapor  
floated around her head. Lily wrestled the door open and grabbed the first broom she saw; a  
Nimbus 1000. Probably Lucius Malfoy's, she thought in disgust. Putting the thought out of her  
mind, she mounted the broom and kicked off hard.  
  
The one thing in her mind while she was whizzing towards Gryffindor Tower was James.   
She had to save him. It was her fault that he was up there in the first place. And she was pretty  
sure that it had sleeted the night before. Not a good thing to happen to anyone, least of all a  
fellow student and anti-Voldemort fighter. So now it was down to Lily to save a fellow  
Gryffindor from a premature death. Images of iced over people popped unbidden into her mind.   
I'm not going to let James turn into a popsicle, she told herself savagely, spurring the broom on to  
greater speeds. He'll be all right.   
  
Gryffindor Tower loomed in the distance. Keep your eyes on the prize, Lily thought.   
The dark stone had never been more welcome. She slipped off the broom before it stopped,  
making sure to bring it down to earth with her. If the broom left without them, two people would  
be stuck on Gryffindor Tower all night instead of one.   
  
Luckily, James was still conscious. "So you've decided to show up, have you?" He asked.  
  
All of Lily's fears for him suddenly evaporated and were replaced by anger at his  
ingratitude. "If you'd rather not have me here, I'll just leave again. You can stay up here all  
month for all I care!"  
  
"Is that why you came? To play the heroine by rescuing someone from uncertain death?   
You wouldn't have come if you hadn't thought you would get a lot of recognition for it, would  
you?"  
  
"Being out here all night must really have messed up your head. I'm humane, remember?   
I was the only one who knew where you were, which meant that it was my responsibility to come  
and prevent you from turning into an iced dessert!"  
  
"So now I'm a dessert? Am I yummy?"  
  
"Of course not." She rolled her eyes. "Just get on the broom. We have to get to  
Potions."  
  
James made puppy eyes up at her. "My joints are frozen stiff. Maybe if you helped me..."  
  
"How?"  
  
"I'm sure I could think of something," he said mischieviously.  
  
"So could I. Feurius evaporatum!"   
  
The ice covering James melted, then evaporated. "Hey!" He said annoyedly. "You've  
spoiled my fun!"  
  
"Just doing my job. Now GET ON THE BROOM!"  
  
"Fine," he huffed. "Just let me steer, all right?"  
  
Lily was too tired to argue any more. "Fine, Potter. You can steer. We're going to  
Potions, all right?"  
  
He didn't seem to be listening. Grinning wickedly, he hopped on the broom and half-bowed. Lily, still grumpy, sat farther back and rested her hands as lightly as possible on his  
shoulders. James, however, had an evil sense of humour. He urged the broom to its highest  
speed, which, of course, forced his passenger to hold on to his shoulders tightly so she wouldn't  
fall off. She wasn't happy about it, as you might expect, so she pushed forwards to get more  
room and a handhold on the broom. Nothing doing, thought James. He leaned back. Lily  
punched him in the head, but returned to her grip on his shoulders.   
  
"We're not going to Potions, are we?" Lily asked suddenly. They were completely on the  
other side of the school from the Potions dungeon, and even though she was sure she'd told  
James where they were going, it was obvious that he didn't like the idea of returning to class.  
  
"Nope. Took you long enough, though," he replied in an off-hand manner.  
  
She glared, but James was facing the other way, so he didn't see her. "Well, then where  
ARE we going?"  
  
"I'm trying to find a really big snowbank that I can dump you into," he said, without any  
trace of resentment.  
  
"Oh, is that all?" Sarcastic though she may have been, Lily had a plan. When her  
companion found a snowbank to dump her into, she'd toss him off, return the broom, and say that  
she hadn't been able to find him. Simple as that.  
  
"Evans," James said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Bye!" In one superfluous movement, he shoved her off the broom. Unfortunately for  
him, her reflexes were in very good condition. She immediately grabbed his arm, and he fell,  
tipping sideways.   
  
Lily had been shoved off first, but was lighter than James. His additional weight on her  
arm pulled her farther down until she hit the snowbank. As before, he landed on top of her.  
  
"Not again," she groaned. He grinned wickedly. "Get off, Potter, before I hurt you."  
  
"Aww. We wouldn't want that, would we? Now shut up. I can't kiss you while you're  
talking."  
  
"All the more reason to continue," Lily growled. "You have till the count of three. One,  
two, three. Right, that's it!" She stood up quickly, dumping Potter on his back. A chill wind  
whipped her hair as she stood up. From James's position on the ground, she looked like an  
avenging angel cornering a wrongdoer.  
  
"Help me up, would you?" He asked.  
  
"Of course not."   
  
"It's Fate, Evans. We're meant to be together. Now help me."  
  
"I have a permanent grudge against Fate. Besides, that's rubbish. We hate each other,  
we're not meant to be together."  
  
"If we're not meant to be together, why did you come after me?"  
  
"I'm humane, remember? I don't leave people to turn into popsicles."  
  
"Fine, then. But what's your permanent grudge against Fate? No one's ever done  
anything to you."  
  
"You'd think that, wouldn't you? You and the others, they just don't bother to think  
about anything. If you don't know, I'm not telling you. Shove off. I'm going to class."  
  
"I won't," James muttered. "Tell me. I won't say anything."  
  
"You think I'm stupid enough to believe you? After everything you've done to me?"  
  
"I'll find out somehow, Evans. You might as well just fess up."  
  
"True, the invitations go out tomorrow."  
  
"Invitations? Are you inviting me to something?"  
  
"My parents are. It's my Bat Mitzvah."  
  
He cocked his head to one side, confused. "You're Jewish?"  
  
"Got a problem with that?"  
  
"No, but isn't it a bit late for your Bat Mitzvah? You're sixteen."  
  
Lily sighed and nodded. "It's a long story. See, I had a younger sister. She's three years  
younger than I am, and we were going to have our Bat Mitzvahs together."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Death Eaters happened, Potter. They killed her over the summer, but Mum and Dad still  
want me to have my Bat Mitzvah this winter. The party'll be in the Great Hall, and all the sixth  
years are invited. Yes, that means you too," she added, seeing his hopeful look.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said.  
  
"No you're not. You're just saying that because it's the appropriate thing to say for this  
type of situation."  
  
"Maybe I am, but you should have told someone."  
  
"I was too busy nursing a private grudge against Fate."  
  
"Don't be so mad at Fate. After all, it was Fate that put us in the same House."  
  
"Thanks a lot, Potter. And I was starting to think that Fate wasn't such a bad thing after  
all."  
  
  
Disclaimer: By now I think you've figured out that I don't own any of these characters.   
The title 'Some Like It Hot' is from a movie that was filmed at the Hotel Del Coronado in San  
Diego, California, U.S.A. I've never seen the movie, but I went to the Del over the summer (long  
trip-- sitting down for that long is not fun) and my parents told me about the movie. I do not own  
the Jewish religion, but what knowledge of it that I have I disclaim to Amarria Rosetti. Hi, Mars!   
Hey, Korinna and Lorialei! Thanks for reading, stay tuned for chapter five, hopefully out sooner  
than this was!  
  
Coming soon: Chapter Five will be out as soon as I can wrangle it. Therein we will have  
the Bat Mitzvah, and James and Lily slowdancing. I know, I'm evil. Lily will not be happy.   
  



	5. Sing With Me, Dance With Me, A Pretty Me...

Sing With Me, Dance With Me, A Pretty Melody  
Chapter Five of The Ladies' Man  
by Marie McKinnon  
  
A/N: I lied a little. We don't go straight into the Bat Mitzvah party scene in this chapter,  
but it's in here. Thanks to all wonderful reviewers, especially potterschik, who reviewed all of the  
chapters in quick succesion.   
  
*  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I can't believe what I just did. I just blurted out everything about Margeurite and  
told someone all about why I don't trust Fate. The worst part is, that someone was James Potter.   
He's really been getting to me these past few days, even though I did save him from death by  
freezing. Ingrateful b******. I honestly don't understand him, though. He's rude, obnoxious,  
and hateful one day, then suddenly sweet, like one of my best friends, and then he's acting  
perverted and is hitting on me. It doesn't make any sense. Perhaps he has schizophrenia.  
  
The really strange thing is that I'm thinking about all of this. In a normal state of mind, I'd  
just dismiss it as unimportant because I'd know that I hate Potter and I wouldn't worry about it.   
There's a really big question now. Do I still hate him, or have I had a change of heart? Don't be  
stupid. I still hate him, of course. Then why do I think about him so much? Because I hate him  
and want to finish him off once and for all. Yeah, that's it.   
  
Who am I fooling? I always said I'd be completely honest with this journal. I used to  
wonder why Potter singled me out as a victim, and that got me to thinking that he liked me.   
Thinking about that probably gave me a crush on him. Stop lying, you know that's not all the  
way true. It wasn't just a crush. You *love* him. I ought to erase that right now! I do not, by  
anyone's standards, love James Potter. Maybe I have a crush on him or like him, but not love.   
  
The all-school ball was a week or so ago, though I was too busy answering Bat Mitzvah  
invitations to go. As Fate (I hate it even more now) would have it, Potter and I were the only  
ones in the common room. Being the jerk he is, he plopped right down next to me and started  
talking to me. I told him I was busy, but, of course, he didn't listen and kept talking. I bashed  
him over the head with a book several times, though that didn't seem to do anything.   
  
"Are you trying to crack my head open?" He'd asked.  
  
"No," I'd snapped, angry at having my peaceful evening destroyed. "You're sufficiently  
cracked as it is."  
  
I like that line. Oh well. My Bat Mitzvah is tomorrow, so I'd better get to sleep.   
Unfortunately, Potter is able to go to that one, so I'm stuck with having to be polite to him,  
Lucius Malfoy, Sirius Black, etc. My mother wrote the invitations, but I'm the one who has to  
undergo the suffering. This isn't justice!  
  
~*Lily*~  
  
*  
  
Journal-Thing,  
  
Oi. Tonight's Lily's Bat Mitzvah party thingiemajig. She's been  
complaining to her friends that her mum will try to set her up with someone, which means I have a  
chance after all. Why do I care? I don't like her. Do I? I've always kind of singled her out, and  
I can't say she isn't pretty, but she hates me. And I hate her. D*** it, I forgot this thing crosses  
lies out. So--- I don't hate her, and she doesn't hate me? I don't hate her, but I don't love her  
either. What?! That was erased? What the H*** is wrong with this lie-detector journal? Mum  
said it worked, but this is crazy. Let's just see what happens. This isn't true. I love Lily Evans.   
Okay, something's messed up with this thing. It's crossing out what I said wasn't tr--- Oh God.   
It thinks I love Lily. Hunh? What just happened? It crossed out two letters, so now it reads I  
think I love Lil-- d***. This thing really has one idea stuck in its head, and it won't let me tell the  
truth. What it said about Lily wasn't true. Was true? How?   
  
~Lying won't get you anything, writer. You love the girl.~  
  
It wrote back to me?   
  
~Yes.~   
  
And it says I love Lily?  
  
~If you can't lie in this journal, neither can I. You love her.~  
  
I love Lily?  
  
~Took you long enough.~  
  
Why did Mum have to pick the one with the sense of humor?  
  
~That really doesn't matter right now. You love her.~  
  
Stuck on one idea, aren't you? You're beginning to sound like what the Muggles call a  
broken record.  
  
~Do you think I care?~  
  
Not particularly, but that's all right. I need to put you down for a minute. Apparently,  
I'm in love and didn't know it.  
~That's true as well.~  
  
Oh, shut up, will you?   
  
-James ~The head over heels lucky dog cause he's a human and can have a  
girl instead of a bunch of pages. Now, that's true.~  
  
*  
  
Later that night, Lily stood alone in the Great hall, waiting for the other sixth years to  
come. Her mother and father rested sedately at a table for adults, though mostly those would be  
teachers. For some reason, Lily's relatives had balked at coming to a school for wizards and  
witches to congratulate her. She didn't really care. None of them were really all that lovable.   
  
It was seven-thirty on the dot. A crowd was building up outside, talking, giggling, and  
smushing against the door in their eagerness to enter. Lily grinned. This was going to be fun. A  
house-elf opened the door, and a stampede occured, nearly trampling him. She was almost sure  
she'd heard him say ' Nimpy has never been more insulted, no Nimpy has not!', but that was  
when she was bombarded with guests.   
  
Couples started breaking away from the mob, dancing exuberantly. Glad she wasn't  
expected to have a partner, Lily walked around, making sure everyone was content. They were;  
some were so deeply immersed in their own affairs that they didn't realize when she was asking  
them a question. She took their silence as a sign of general enjoyment, and started teaching a  
dance to some of the other girls.   
  
That night was a whirl of dancing, laughing, and talking for Lily. She danced alone or  
with a group of others, but never with a boy. Her mother seemed severely disappointed about  
this, but didn't comment until the very last dance, which, as Lily's least favourite deity would  
have it, was a slow dance.  
  
"Lily, dear, I wish you'd ask one of these nice young gentleman to dance with you. They  
seem so nice and polite. Not all of them are as bad as you say, I'm sure. In fact, why don't you  
and this charming young man" she motioned to James, who was standing alone in the centre of  
the room "have a dance? He's as polite as can be, he was conversing with me earlier..."  
  
Under her mother's evil eye, there was nothing Lily could have done to save herself. She  
got into the ballroom dancing stance, as far away from her partner as possible. Uncomfortably,  
they started dancing. No words came to mind, so they just revolved around the same spot on the  
floor, unspeaking.  
  
"Hey, Yvonne, is that who I think it is?"  
  
"If it is, they're going about it the wrong way," Yvonne replied, motioning towards James  
and Lily. "What say we fix them?"   
  
"Sure!"  
  
Trying not to touch James, Lily anxiously wondered when the song would be over. It  
seemed torturously long. As if out of the blue, he let go of her hand and took the other one off of  
her back. She started to move away, relieved, but he suddenly had his arms around her waist.  
  
"Potter, what the H*** are you doing?"  
  
"I'm not! Someone's moving my arms, and--"  
  
"Not ruddy likely. Get your slimy hands off me, NOW." Before any more rude words  
could escape her, Lily's arms, as of their own accord, linked together around her partner's neck.  
  
"We thought you'd be happier that way," Arriana giggled.  
  
"You looked really uncomfortable before. Don't try to change position, we'd just have to  
fix it again." With that, Arriana and Yvonne walked away to be 'innocent bystanders' once more.  
  
"Look, sorry, I didn't know they moved your arms for you, I thought--"  
  
"It's okay. I don't really blame you."  
  
In his arms, she didn't think she'd ever been that close to anyone before. Warm hands  
around her waist, handsome face hovering above her head... many girls would have loved to be  
in her position. Just the fact that her body was betraying her made Lily angry at herself. She  
knew she was enjoying the dance, knew that she didn't really hate James as much as she said (if at  
all), but this revelation was going against the grain by so much that she resolved to be twice as  
b***** to him later.  
  
The goddess in his arms couldn't be real. So slim, so elegant, so perfect, so gorgeous... It  
reminded James of the time they'd fallen off their brooms, when her red hair had spread out over  
the snow, making a striking contrast. Now, no snow was in sight, but the white silk of her  
sleeveless dress seemed an admirable substitute. Big green eyes stared up at him out of an ovaline  
face, round like a china doll's, but so much better, because a china doll would never jump up and  
talk to you, never would smile and smirk. Being that close to her was almost a torture; he knew  
she only put up with him because her mother was breathing down her neck. Well, it was worth it  
while it lasted.  
  
The music ended, and slowly, reluctantly, Lily and James stopped dancing and moved  
apart. They walked up to Gryffindor tower together, not arguing for once. At the common room  
they parted, but not before Lily called over her shoulder.  
  
"Hey, James?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Thanks for the dance."  
  
Disclaimer: The idea for that Bat Mitzvah scene belongs to Amarria Rosetti. Thanks,  
Mars! As you might have guessed, I don't own the Jewish religion or the Bat/Bar Mitzvah  
ceremony. Nor do I own the Harry Potter characters. I don't even own Yvonne--she's Aunt  
Petunia's friend from the first two books. Arriana is mine, but that's it. If any of you were  
surprised by the lack of flower name for Lily's 'younger sister,' you were wrong. Margeurite  
means daisy in French. Don't sue me, 'kay? Oh, and hi to Mahree Avocado (citrus cult rocks!),  
Mars, Korrinna, and Lorialei. Sabrina Myst too, if she ever reads this, which I highly doubt.   
Thanks to all wonderful reviewers. I'll thank you all by name at the very end. In the meantime (or  
the nicetime, whichever you prefer), you're welcome to continue reviewing. Hint, hint...  
  
Just a personal note: I can't believe it! I've got a new cousin! My aunt and uncle are  
adopting a baby from Russia, and they got the call to go get her the other day. Her name's Anna  
Christina, and she's just adorable, only a year old... Mom is sending her some of my old baby  
clothes, the poor girl will be buried... 


	6. I'll Be Switched

I'll Be Switched   
Chapter Six of 'The Ladies' Man'   
by Marie McKinnon   
  
A/N: Sorry if any of you were expecting this earlier. I've been working diligently on a   
birthday present for one of my reviewers (who also happens to be my friend), which hindered my   
typing of this chapter. Blame her, not me. It's not my fault that her birthday had to be so dratted   
soon! As all of you know, ffnet's been down, so that was a bit of a problem as well. And the   
stupid thing wouldn't let me upload this, which also delayed the premier of Chapter Seven   
because, as I'm sure you all know, I can't post seven before six.   
  
*   
  
Dear Journal,   
  
I just came back to the dorm from my Bat Mitzvah party. I'm sure Mum will be angry   
at me for not staying to see everyone out, but I needed to think. Of all people to make me dance   
with, she had to choose Potter. I was so embarrassed. Everyone thinks we hate each other, but   
now they'll start wondering (after Arriana and Yvonne came and 'fixed' our dance. I swear I'm   
going to kill them) whether or not that's really true.   
  
I know I admitted last time that I don't hate him, and maybe that I like him a little, but that   
doesn't mean he can get off scot-free. In fact, it means he'd better toe the line or I'll revert to my   
normal, somewhat-sane self and murder him for doing this to me. After all, if he weren't the way   
he is, I wouldn't like him at all, now, would I? The last problem is that I don't know if he likes   
me. He does single me out, and he acts perverted when we're alone, but that's probably just part   
of his character. I'm not going to ask Sirius. That would be suicidal. Black would go right to   
Potter, tell him what I'd asked and what I'd inferred, and it'd be all over the school before   
breakfast. I s'pose the best thing is just not to say anything, act normal, and leave the rest of the   
school to their petty guessing games.   
~Lily   
  
*   
  
Right. I'm not even going to title this, cause I know enough to know that I'm writing in   
my diary. It was Lily's Bat Mitzvah party, and the last song was a slowdance. Of all people, her   
mum had to pick me for her to dance with. I mean, it's not that I don't like her, she's nice, and   
cute, but now the whole school thinks we're in love, and we're not. Lord, I hate this thing. Okay,   
okay, I know I really like her, but that doesn't mean I have to go proclaiming it from every tower   
and every dungeon. Thanks to Yvonne and Arriana, we were as close as close could be. Those   
two were giggling like crazy, so I bet it's all over the school. I'm going to murder them very,   
very soon. Ditzes. They can only do so much. Which is why I'm glad Evans isn't a ditz. No   
fashion-crazed, eyelash-fluttered snob would be able to hit me as hard as she did. Just the fact   
that she hasn't fallen at my feet yet is nice. Saying 'the ladies love me,' isn't so complete, though,   
if I can't say that all of them adore me. She most certainly doesn't. I don't think. Well, I'm not   
stupid enough to go up to her or one of her friends and ask. It'd be all over the school that she   
and I are going out or something in about half a second.   
  
"Hey, Prongs," Sirius called. He'd just come in and was looking at his friend slyly.   
  
Gotta go.   
  
-James   
  
"What?"   
  
"I saw you dancing with Miss Evans," he said, a huge grin spreading over his face. "Had   
fun?"   
  
James turned red. "No. I didn't. Her mum grabbed me and dragged me over and   
basically forced me to dance with her."   
  
"D'you expect me to believe that?"   
  
"I certainly hope you will, seeing as it's the truth."   
  
His friend shook his head despairingly. "James, James, James."   
  
"Sirius, Sirius, Sirius, what?"   
  
"You like her."   
  
"Oh, really? I'm so glad you've told me, because I honestly didn't know that--" Realizing   
what he'd just said, James shut his mouth with a snap and hoped Sirius wouldn't get it.   
  
Unfortunately, he did. "You admitted it! I finally got you to admit that you like her!"   
  
"Help. Police. Murder."   
  
"This is big news! I have to go tell her--"   
  
James grabbed Sirius' arm and tried to prevent him from leaving the room. "Whoa. Oh   
no you don't. This doesn't leave the room, all right? I never told anyone when you had that thing   
for Narcissa Hartford, did I? It's the same principle. Not a word to anyone, not even Remus."   
  
"Fine, if you put it that way."   
  
"Good. Now I'm going into the common room. I want to study." Picking up his diary,   
which he'd disguised as a textbook, he left the room.   
  
*   
  
Lily was doodling in what seemed to be a version of The Standard Book of Spells Grade   
Six. In all reality, she was scribbling in her diary because she needed to get her emotions out   
somehow. When James walked in with the same book, looking intently at one of the pages, she   
was amazed to note that Potter was actually studying.   
  
"Lily, get over here," Arriana called. She groaned. Of all the people to have to talk to,   
Arriana was the worst. After what she'd done to Lily, it would have been wisest of her not to say   
a word, but wisdom had never been her strong suit. "Tell them that I was telling the truth."   
Reluctantly, Lily put down her diary and walked over to write her own death sentence.   
  
"Oi, Potter, c'mere! I've got a question!" Frank Longbottom, who'd had a longtime   
crush on Lily, yelled over the crowd of sixth years in the common room. Putting his diary down   
on a table, next to someone's abandoned textbook, James shuffled over.   
  
"Ooh! You two make the cutest couple!" Arriana squealed. "When you were dancing   
both of you were all red and embarrassed, it was so adorable..."   
  
"When you've finished telling me what to do with my love life," she growled.   
  
"What're you going to do? Study?" Yvonne giggled, trying to fathom that someone, after   
the biggest party ever, could buckle down and start doing homework.   
  
"Actually, yes, but it's so noisy in here that I'll have to do it in my room." Feeling self   
conscious, not seeing that there was an identical textbook on the table she'd left her diary on, Lily   
swooped down on her book and left, hoping for a little peace and sanity.   
  
"How far did she go? C'mon, you could charm the fish out of the ocean, much less   
Evans," prodded Norman Doone, completely ignoring the furious glare of his best friend Frank   
and the highly embarrassed flush creeping into James's cheeks.   
  
"I couldn't charm Evans if my life depended on it. She hates me. Shut up, Doone, I'm   
not telling you anything. No, I mean it, I'm going to go study in my room if you all are going to   
bother me." Without a kind word to anyone, James, too, picked up a book from the table and   
escaped to the quiet of his own room.   
  
This is the diary of Lily Maureen Evans. Read at your peril.   
  
What? Thought James. I just picked it up off the table, there wasn't anything else there.   
How did this get to be Lily's diary? But now the question is--where's mine? Oh, d***. If I've   
got hers, I bet she's got mine. S***. Now what'm I going to do? One side of his mind urged   
him to read it. It was his one chance to find out whether or not Lily really did hate him as much   
as she pretended. This temptation finally won over and he flipped to the back, where the more   
recent entries would be.   
  
Dear Journal,   
  
Good Lord. Potter fell off his broom, and of course I had to go play the hero and catch   
him before he broke his head open. I think he was out to get fresh air or something and he ran   
into a tree. Anyway, I caught the back of his robes and towed him to the top of Gryffindor tower.   
Before I could land my broom I fell, and, of course, he somehow ended up on top of me. The   
Fates hate me, and I think the feeling is becoming more mutual than it was before. I'm kind of   
scared and embarrassed, cause even though no one knows, Potter kissed me. Does he like me?   
Do I like him? The second question is almost harder to answer than the first. Heaven help us. I   
think I fell for James Potter. The world is coming to an end. I don't know how it happened.   
Actually, I think I do. Thinking about him so much got me to wondering if he liked me, and from   
there thinking about him so much developed my own reactions. He's cute, definitely, but he's a   
bit too enthusiastic around me to be for real. Single out the one girl who can't stand you, right,   
Potter? Maybe you're making a mistake. Maybe it's the other girls who envy and hate you for   
your popularity and way of making everything you say sound like a compliment that buzzes in   
their ears and I'm just one little girl who really loves you. Lord, did I write 'loves'? I know I   
like him, but I most certainly don't love him. I'm going crazy. No, I've *gone* crazy. I'm crazy   
for caring in the first place, and even more insane for hoping, wondering, living for the day he   
comes and says, "Hey, Evans, come to the dance with me on Saturday?" and really means it.   
  
That's another thing. I can never tell if he's being sincere or not. Does he really mean it   
when he says that I'm the only one who makes him feel appreciated? That's absolute rubbish.   
He's just too sarcastic for his own good. I'll just nurture this little feeling and no one will know.   
If no one knows, nothing can come back and haunt me like it did with Margeurite. Everyone   
knew that was partially my fault. Why did I have to be so far away when she needed my help?   
Why couldn't I have been right there, ready to fend them off? They wouldn't have known about   
her at all if it hadn't been for me. Hear that, Fate? I've undergone enough torture from that to   
last for years, so couldn't you just have it easy on me for a while? But no. First Margeurite, now   
problems with Potter. I think they're all against me. That's it. The whole world wants to get rid   
of me, so I can just kick the bucket and everyone'll go home happy. What fun life is!   
  
~Lily   
  
"Whoa," James breathed. He'd never realized how complex Evans really was. And he   
had to go find her, whatever it took.   
  
*   
  
Whatever.   
  
I need to say this now. God, Lily is *hot*. I had to say that. I couldn't stop   
myself. I hate her, but I have to admit, she is d*** good-looking. Fine, fine, I don't hate her.   
She's all right. What the H*** is wrong with this thing? I'm certainly not in love with her, now,   
am I? Fine, be obstinate if you want. What do you *want* me to write, if you think you know   
everything?   
  
~Admit you really care about whoever-it-is. No, it's not only hormones. You really wish she'd   
laugh with you, not at you, and smile at you because she likes you, not because someone's put   
you down.~   
  
What are you, the love hotline on the WWN?   
  
~Not quite, but definitely close.~   
  
You are infuriating, you know that?   
  
~Of course I know that. I may be an inanimate object, but I'm not as stupid as you are. Can you   
imagine liking someone for years and never even admitting it to yourself?~   
  
Is that a hint?   
  
~You've like what's-her-name for years, don't deny it. Now get your big fat a** out there and   
tell her about it.~   
  
She'd laugh her head off.   
  
~So now it matters what she thinks, does it?~   
  
Okay. I like her, but I don't want to say anything. Better keep this private for a while.   
Until she comes forward and does something, or until something happens. If it was meant to be,   
something is sure to happen. I hope. If it doesn't, I'm screwed, cause seeing her flirt with   
someone else would be more than I could take. Not like she flirts anyway, but still.   
  
-James   
  
Good Lord, Lily thought. He likes me. He really does. I haven't been imagining it. I   
can't tell him I have his diary, much less that I read it. Only thing to do now is to find mine.   
Where could I have put it? I know I left it on that table, so--d***. Potter's got it, hasn't he?   
I've got to go somewhere to think. The top of Gryffindor Tower would be good. He won't find   
me there.   
  
*   
  
A clatter on the opposite side of the tower woke Lily from her reverie. A tall youth with a   
shock of black hair falling over his eyes slipped off of his broom and looked up at her, expression   
stern.   
  
"I think I found your diary."   
  
Disclaimer: Dun-dun-dun-dun-DUN! *Suspenseful music plays in background* Hahah! Right,   
same old, same old, I don't own anyone new, except maybe Norman Doone, but he's perverted,   
so I don't want him anyway. Happy Birthday Mahree Avocado--everyone go see 'My Angel,' it's   
something I wrote as a birthday present for my friend/reviewer. It'll be up at around the same   
time as this is. 


	7. Famous Last Words

Famous Last Words   
Chapter 7 of 'The Ladies' Man'   
by Marie McKinnon   
  
"I think I found your diary."   
  
"You read it." It wasn't a question but a statement. She knew he'd read it; how else   
would he know her favourite place to go when she really needed to think was the top of   
Gryffindor tower? Sitting on the edge of the wall around the top storey of a very high tower, she   
purposefully looked away, pushing the thought of falling off out of her mind.   
  
James hung his head. The fact that he knew she'd done the same didn't excuse his   
behaviour. Her diary was full of thoughts, poems, stories, her hopes and dreams. His just had   
what happened and how he planned on impressing certain people, or how to get certain girls to   
like him. It wasn't the same thing. Looking at his diary was just like seeing a catalogue of what   
happened in his life, not like looking at someone in a new light, like with Lily's.   
  
"Those were my *private* thoughts, Potter. Have you no respect for privacy? Were you   
trying to blackmail me into going out with you? I don't appreciate it when people see what I'm   
thinking. My thoughts are for just me! Not you, not anyone, just me! You went behind my back   
to find out what I really thought about you, and you knew it, didn't you? Anything to dig up dirt   
on Evans, anything to get the last girl to go out with you, anything to make you seem like the   
perfect, irresistable boy. Dumbledore's Golden Boy, Potter, that's what you are! No one ever   
notices or cares that I've beat you in all the exams or have done better on the Quidditch field, just   
because I'm not as popular as you are! I'm sick of this, so just go away and leave me alone! Get   
out of here! Leave! I hate you!" By now the tears were running down Lily's cheeks. She had   
poured so much into keeping her feelings secret that she wouldn't admit it when they came out   
into the open. All the pent up emotions that had been vented into a piece of paper came pouring   
out.   
  
"Famous last words, Evans," James said maliciously. "You can't live without me. You   
love me. I read it in your little diary, you can't deny it, it's down in ink. Get over here, Evans,   
I'm not going to sit here while you throw a tantrum." The hurt look on her face became more   
pronounced with every word. His hard mask remained in place for a total of two miliseconds   
before he realized that this was his fault. He'd made the one girl he really loved cry, and now that   
he'd realized what was going on, he'd gone and made the wound deeper by insulting her. "Oh,   
d***, I'm sorry, Lily." Without another thought, he walked over to the wall and sat down next to   
her. "Shh. It's all right, I'm here, it's okay. Don't worry." Almost automatically his arms found   
themselves wound around her and his shoulder found a new use: a pillow for Lily's head.   
  
She couldn't explain why she was crying. Being confused drove her crazy, which just   
made her cry harder. James's comforting words did no good. He had been berating her almost   
five seconds before, so why did he suddenly want to hold her and evaporate her tears?   
  
"Potter," she said hoarsely. "Get off unless you can explain what the H*** is going on   
inside your head. First you make me cry, then you scream at me, and now you try to comfort me?   
I'm sorry, but even what I know you think of me isn't enough to allay my fears about your mental   
health." A small smile played around the edges of her mouth.   
  
"You want answers, go see a psychiatrist. Not even I can describe the inner workings of   
my mind."   
  
"Your mind has workings? I'm amazed, really I am."   
  
"This is coming from the girl who's hopelessly in love with me, according to her diary," he   
laughed.   
  
"It's not written in stone yet," she commented, standing up. "Thanks. I feel a lot better   
now."   
  
James shook his head. "I should d*** well think so. My shoulder's fallen asleep from   
your lying on it."   
  
"Shove off, Potter."   
  
"Aw, come on, ya know ya love me."   
  
Lily cocked her head, pretending to be unsure. "I don't know. I need some convincing to   
know that you're in love with me. Or so you say."   
  
Holding up the diary, he grinned evilly. "You can't lie if you write in this. It'll even write   
back."   
  
"I noticed, Mr. 'love hotline on the WWN,'" she joked. "So you're saying if I put in   
'James Potter is a complete b******,' it wouldn't cross it out?" He shoved her lightly, but she   
gave as good as she got. He stumbled backwards, sitting down hard.   
  
"What'd you do that for?"   
  
"Eye for an eye justice. Ever heard of it?"   
  
"No, but I *have* heard of 'thank God for privacy.'" James raised his eyebrows   
expressively.   
  
"Oh, no you don't. Even *I* don't like you that much."   
  
He handed her the diary and a quill. "Just in case you don't trust me."   
  
"All right, then," she smiled. Soon the words 'James Potter is a complete nimrod'   
appeared on the page in messy, scribbled handwriting.   
  
~I concur~   
  
"Well, now," she asked triumphantly. "Who was right?"   
  
"My turn."   
  
Lily Evans is a sexy b****.   
  
~How the H*** am I supposed to know? I'm only a book, you know, I don't have eyes or ears.   
That's walls.~   
  
"Ooh, it doesn't seem to like you very much."   
  
"Shut up, Lily. If it could see you it'd agree with me."   
  
James Potter loves Lily Evans.   
  
~Oh, is that that girl's name? The one he was babbling on about? If it is, yeah, he does, he's been   
scribbling about her for years.~   
  
"Busted, Potter."   
  
James Potter thinks Lily Evans is a sexy b****.   
  
~Well, that's more up my alley. He most certainly does, I can tell you that much. See entry 357,   
he goes over it all in detail.~   
  
Lily grabbed for the book, flipping through pages as she went. James flushed scarlet,   
pulled it away from her, and shut it with a snap.   
  
"Fermus! There, now you can't open it."   
  
"And I was really looking forwards to seeing that entry, too." She pouted slightly, but he   
knew she was just kidding.   
  
"Too late now. Sorry, dear, come back in the morning."   
  
A mischievious glint appeared in Lily's eye. "Oh, I will, be sure about that." It was her   
turn to raise her eyebrows expressively.   
  
"Famous last words. You can't get into our dorm, you're a girl."   
  
"Am I really? I had no idea! This is big news, alert the presses, call the newspapers!"   
  
He rolled his eyes. "I would, but I don't think the Daily Prophet takes advertisements."   
  
"If it did you'd have been advertising for a straight jacket several years ago."   
  
"A what?"   
  
"Never mind," she sighed. For a second she'd forgotten he was pure-blood. "It's a   
Muggle thing."   
  
"Whatever you say, dear."   
  
"I'm not your 'dear.' I'm more of a caribou." Trying to be lighthearted in the face of a   
very serious issue wasn't as hard as Lily'd thought it would be, though she wished he'd be blunt   
and get to the heart of the problem. They knew they were in love, but should they try to hush it   
up or should they just start going out?   
  
Reading her thoughts, James asked "What would everyone say if I asked you to the   
graduation ceremony? The Head Boy and Girl are being named, so we've got to be there."   
  
"Do you really give a d*** about what everyone else is going to think?"   
  
"Not really. So will you go with me, then?"   
  
"I s'pose."   
  
"My diary's finally convinced you, has it?"   
  
"Don't flatter yourself. I've been trying so hard not to ask you myself that it was almost a   
relief to be able to dismiss it."   
  
"You love me, then? Cause I know I love you."   
  
"Famous last words, Potter," she joked. "I'll find you in the library with someone else   
before I know it. And you *won't* be doing a project."   
  
"Very funny."   
  
  
  
Disclaimer: As I have said countless times, I am *not* J. K. Rowling. That having been   
said, you will understand that I do not own anyone in this chapter. If you don't, I would   
recommend a mental check-up. Lord knows I've had enough of those in the past weeks. Joking.   
Well, that's really all I have to say. Oh, wait, not it's not. REVIEW OR I'LL THROW   
PRETZELS AT YOU! 


	8. Transports of Delight

Transports of Delight  
Chapter Eight of 'The Ladies' Man'  
by Marie McKinnon  
  
A/N: Welcome, all, to the eighth chapter of my story. Just a little memo from me. I  
mentioned that the Head Boy and Girl would be chosen at this ceremony. Yes, I have read the  
third book, where it says that Percy was notified by letter. I figured that his would be a better  
idea because they could've done it differently when James and Lily were at school (and it gives  
me a chance to get them on a date). Onward ho!  
  
*  
  
Why am I so d*** worried? It's just the graduation ceremony. Somebody'll be picked  
for Head Girl, though it certainly won't be me, there'll be dinner, dancing, and just a fun time with  
James. Do I look all right? Stop fussing! I don't have to look perfect. Of course, I want to, just  
to prove that James didn't make a wrong decision. Now I'm ready. I think.   
  
Lily shouldn't have been worried. She'd curled her hair, which made a big difference. It  
cascaded down her shoulders like a river of russet leaves (though not as dry or crackly). Emerald  
silk flowed around her feet, arms, and waist. The robes resembled a Japanese kimono, though  
there was no sash and it was to be pulled over the head. Small ballroom dancing slippers slightly  
increased her height. When all was said and done, she looked even more amazing than usual.  
  
In the common room, James was allowing himself to mutter questions without answers.   
"Why'm I so worried? Nothing important is going on tonight. I'll find out who'll be Head Boy  
next year and everyone'll go home happy."  
  
"You're worried because you and the girl you adore are going together."  
  
He rolled his eyes. "Padfoot, when I want your opinion I'll ask for it."  
  
"But you *did* ask. You wanted to know why you were so worried." Sirius pointed out  
innocently. A large argument would have begun had Lily not come down the stairs at that  
moment.  
  
"Sorry I'm late, I couldn't find something," she explained, which was positively not true.   
She'd been hurriedly checking to see if there were any faults in her appearance that would bother  
James. Finding none and deciding she'd wasted enough time, she came downstairs.   
  
She shouldnt've worried. James was gaping like a fish, so shocked at the seeming  
reformation that he couldn't speak. Sirius, too, was speechless for a moment before he started  
cursing himself for missing out on something. Heads turned wherever they went, especially those  
of sixth and seventh year boys.   
  
"How're you?" He asked nervously as they approached the Great Hall.  
  
"I'm all right. Nervous, I s'pose, though I'm probably the last person to be considered for  
Head Girl."  
  
"I wonder why?"  
  
Lily shot him *the look*. "Not appreciated, thanks all the same."  
  
"I'm just trying to lighten the mood."  
  
"It's light enough. Won't be too long before it's caught fire."  
  
"I can't believe you two," Sirius cut in.  
  
"What's not to believe?" They said in synchronisation.  
  
He shook his head in the manner of a long suffering hero. "You're in love with each  
other, supposedly, and you're insulting yourselves so much that no one would be able to tell if  
you had just kept right on hating each other. I think something's messed up in both of your  
heads."  
  
"You really think so? Your advice is appreciated, Padfoot, but I'd really be happier if  
you'd just butt out," James ordered.   
  
Sirius saluted smartly, clicking his heels. "Yes sir, Sergeant Potter, sir."  
  
Smacking his friend in the head lightly, he walked past into the Hall. "That's *General*  
Potter to you, buddy."  
  
*  
  
Instead of the usual long rectangular tables and chairs, fancy, table-cloth covered round  
ones were in place all around the Great Hall. The graduating class, the seventh years, milled  
around looking melancholy. Sixth year Prefects, however, released an excited energy that  
bounced off the walls and into everyone else, heightening the atmosphere of solemnity to one of  
joy and anticipation. James, Lily, Sirius, and Arabella Figg (all of them Gryffindor Prefects)  
seated themselves at one of the round tables nearest the dance floor and craned their necks  
around, waiting for Dumbledore to do something.   
  
"Welcome all," he boomed out over the boisterous crowd, as though in response to their  
silent wonderings. "Before our ceremony I would like to give the seventh years a chance to have  
an enjoyable evening. Therefore, our party will begin with dinner." As he said the word 'dinner,'  
individual plates filled with filet mignon, mashed potatoes, and Caesar salad appeared on the  
tables. Wasting no time, the Gryffindors dug in. Once finished with the main course, serving  
trays popped into the air over their heads, offering them all manner of delightful goodies.   
  
Chatting on a full stomach was very agreeable, they found. While waiting for everyone  
else to finish eating, Sirius asked the fatal question.  
  
"So who d'you think'll be Head Boy?"  
  
Lily grinned. "Anyone but James."  
  
"Hopefully not Snape. He'd take so many points from Gryffindor for no reason it  
wouldn't even be funny," Arabella added.  
  
"What about Amos Diggory, that Hufflepuff?"  
  
Sirius turned to his friend, exasperated. "I d*** well hope not. He'd be too busy showing  
off to pay attention to the school."  
  
"I think maybe that Ravenclaw, you know, tall, kind of oriental, I can't think of his  
name..."  
  
"Oh, good one, Lil. Yeah, Wei-Ting Chang would be a good Head Boy."  
  
"That's the name! I couldn't think of it. Wouldn't he, though?"  
  
"Now that that's decided, can we dance? The music's been on for about ten minutes  
while we argued about who's going to be Head Boy." Arabella pointed out.  
  
James grinned evilly at Lily. "Ready, dear? We're going to cause an uproar."  
  
"That's what I was afraid of." Almost before the words were out of her mouth, he'd put  
his right hand on her waist and his left in hers. Gradually, she rested her left hand on his shoulder.   
They swung out into the centre of the room, drawing the eyes of the crowd. Not only was it  
unusual for Lily to be dancing with someone, much less James, but it appeared that they were  
extremely talented at the swing, which was blaring out across the room.   
  
Quick steps, slow steps, they never missed one. Lily twirled rapidly, sometimes very far  
away from her partner, sometimes almost in his arms. By the time the quick songs ended they  
were tired out, almost ready to go to bed. Luckily, a slow song played, and the evil grin on  
James's face became more pronounced. He drew her close, leering into her face. She leered right  
back, resting her hands on his shoulders. Hands on her waist seemed warm, even tingling, like  
an extension of herself.   
  
Before they knew it, Dumbledore was standing on the stage, smiling. "It's nice to see all  
of you enjoy yourselves so much. Unfortunately, I must ask you to take your seats." There was a  
few seconds' pause while he waited for everyone to sit down. "Would this year's Head Boy and  
Girl come up, please? Thank you. Now, as you all know, being Head Boy or Girl is a very  
important position. It is one of authorization, but, most importantly, it is one that all younger  
students look up to. Whoever earns this badge must wear it earnestly and use their power fairly.   
Therefore, it gives me great pleasure to announce that the Head Boy and Girl for the school year  
of 1975 are James Potter and Lily Evans."  
  
In a daze, James and Lily rose and walked up to the stage. Once they'd been given their  
badges by the old Head Boy and Girl, they were ushered into another chamber. The door opened  
and they fell into a whirl of blackness and ice, undistinguishable from the growing haze blurring  
their vision...  
  
Disclaimer: Ooh, ending a chapter with an ellipse, I'm so ashamed... Hah! I bet none of  
you, not even Mahree Avocado, expected that! It's so nice to be unexpected sometimes. Oh, and  
back to the point of this disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters because the Wei-Ting  
Chang person is obviously Cho's father. REVIEW OR I'LL SET FLUFFY ON YOU! Thanks. 


	9. Memory Lane

Memory Lane  
Chapter Nine of 'The Ladies' Man'  
by Marie McKinnon  
  
A/N: Haha! Cliffie! And I ended the chapter with an ellipse! Sorry, I'm still gloating  
over that plot twist. And a very twisted twist it was. Sorry it took so long, our computer's been  
acting up lately and I haven't been able to get onto the net. Well, this note is getting to be  
pointless, so I'll just get on with it, shall I?  
  
*  
  
"YYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" James screamed. It was  
like Floo Powder but a million times worse--he didn't know if it would ever end, and he most  
certainly didn't know where he was going. Whirling like a dervish and about to be sick to his  
stomach, his relief when the spinning stopped was almost instantaneously replaced by confusion.  
  
"Excuse me for asking, but who're you?" Lily asked politely. 'What're you' would've  
been a more accurate question. The creature standing before them was completely unruffled at  
the sudden appearance of two elegantly dressed teenagers. Then again, it didn't look like much  
would ruffle it anyway. Of a smooth, hard silver color, almost metallic, it stood about seven feet  
tall. Its slender figure and large, almond-shaped eyes seemed almost human. A pronged tail  
swished back and forth expectantly, like a cat before it pounces. Long, slim fingers twiddled a  
piece of metal absently. There was a tangible air of nonchalance surrounding the creature as it  
gazed at the newcomers.   
  
"I am the Eremisk," it responded in a low voice. "A guardian of the future, if it so pleases  
you."  
  
"Pardon my saying so, but I've never heard of Eremisks. Where did your people  
originate?"  
  
A laugh, almost like a purr, resonated through the room. "I am the Eremisk. There is  
only one. There will always only be one."  
  
"Ah," James said delicately, having found his breath again. "Have you any idea how we  
could get back to Hogwarts? Our school, that is. Could you direct us?"  
  
"I know Hogwarts, young man. I could direct you if I so chose."  
  
"Would you be kind enough to do so, please?" Lily asked, nudging James and wordlessly  
ordering him to remain silent.  
  
"Later." The Eremisk held up her metal rod, now identified as a flute, to the light for  
inspection. "You have a choice."  
  
"We have many choices," James cut in. "What's so special about this one?"  
  
"I could send you directly back to your school. Or," and here the Eremisk looked at them  
pointedly, "I could show you what will happen to you if you continue the way you are going. If  
you choose to listen to the future, you are allowed to make changes to it. Or to leave it as it is.   
Which do you prefer?"  
  
"You offer us that which is difficult to turn down. The chance to see our future is  
enticing. I believe I speak for both of us when I say that I accept your offer," James blurted. She  
glared venomously, obviously content to let what would come come, but made no effort to  
change his statement.  
  
"As you wish." The flute levitated, suspended in midair. It seemed to be waiting for  
some signal to start playing. The Eremisk pointed one of her long, slim fingers and a joyous  
melody began. Images began flashing through their heads, as though the music inspired their  
life's story.   
  
Music sang stories of days before, when they'd fought constantly, then the revelation. An  
upbeat, cheerful tune carried ideas of gorgeous, sunlit days in a simple cottage and a summer  
marriage among white lilies, pink carnations, and bluebells. Then the darkness came.  
  
Suspense built as battles were fought. Clashes between Aurors and Death Eaters piled on,  
always broken by intervals of sweetness. While this played out before them, James and Lily felt  
themselves get closer. A mutual understanding washed over them, as soft and delicate as the  
rhythm. He slung his arm over her shoulder and let her lean on him, smiling as he did so. The  
birth of their son, Harry, was punctuated by horn calls and blaring trumpets.  
  
Those were the golden days, filled to the brim with flickering fires, happily gurgling baby  
noises, and laughter. Suspense still built, and a haunting quality crept into the music. Finally, the  
climax was reached, and they could almost hear their voices shout out in horror.  
  
"Lily, take Harry and go! It's Him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off--" A scream silenced  
James's voice forever. Lily trembled.  
  
"Not Harry! Not Harry! Please--I'll do anything--"  
  
High pitched and cold, the answering words could only be Voldemort's. "Stand aside,  
you silly girl... stand aside, now..."  
  
"Not Harry, please no, take me, kill me instead-- Not Harry! Please... have mercy...have  
mercy..." Lily's voice, too, was silenced. The music continued. The cold voice turned to a  
defenseless baby, no more than one year old, and attempted to continue its dirty work. Triumph  
flashed white as the voice screamed pitifully and was washed away. Sounds of a baby crying filled  
the room, and the tune halted.  
  
Throughout the climax of the melody James and Lily had been backing away. Now, as  
they stepped against the wall they had come through in the first place, a suction pulled them back  
in without telling how they wanted to change their lives. Once again, their eyes shut tight, a  
whirling mass dizzied them as they returned to Hogwarts. They were fated to live their lives as  
they had seen them. And to die at Voldemort's hand.  
  
Disclaimer: Short and sweet, hunh? Hi to Aliness. Yeah, I do have an alter ego, but you  
don't want to meet her. *I* haven't even met her, but I most certainly don't want to! Oh, this  
was supposed to be a disclaimer, wasn't it? If you care, I don't own any of the characters in this  
chapter. Except the Eremisk. You can have her if you want, she's too catty for me. And too  
superior for her own good. Everything belongs to Miss JK Rowling (doink), she can have 'em. 


	10. We're Gonna Die

We're Gonna Die  
Chapter Ten of 'The Ladies' Man'  
more insanity by Marie McKinnon  
  
A/N: So now they're going to die. Fun, hunh? However, this is when I believe I must  
say goodbye. Yes, this is the last chapter. I will thank you all before I sign off. I was completely  
shocked to find that I actually had 50 reviews for this story, but I can't claim any credit at all.   
Thank you all so much. I wouldn't be at this point now if it weren't for you. Heck, there would  
only be one chapter if it weren't for you! In the immortal words of one of the originals, Y'all  
Rock (Amarria, you know who you are)! Without further ado...  
  
*  
  
"Ouch," James muttered, landing hard on his posterior on the high table. "That smarts."  
  
"Don't sit there whinging. We've got to see Professor Dumbledore and find out if there's  
any way we can change our future. I know this may sound clichéd, but I don't want to die!" The  
genuinely terrified note in Lily's voice moved him to get up *off* his posterior and almost out  
the door before a rumbling voice commented.  
  
"If you need to see me, might I suggest that you turn around?" They did so, and almost  
jumped a foot in the air. Professor Dumbledore was sitting leisurely on one of the round tables,  
which was now cleared of plates and flowers. His silvery beard reached all the way to the floor.  
  
"Oh, Professor, we didn't see you," he commented.  
  
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "I know you didn't see me. If you had, you wouldn't have  
been surprised when I spoke to you."  
  
"Of--of course, Professor. Could we--"  
  
Again elbowing him in the ribs, Lily interrupted. "We had an--um--interesting-- time  
while we were gone, and there are some extraordinary points about it which we would like to  
discuss with you."  
  
"By all means, continue."  
  
James and Lily launched into their story, describing everything in great detail, but  
focusing mostly on the sounds of their future. The Headmaster listened, his aging face crinkled  
in deep thought.   
  
"May I ask a question?" James blurted.  
  
"You've just done so," Dumbledore replied. "You may ask another, however."  
  
"Is there any way for us to change our future?"  
  
He was given a very, very inquisitive look. "Now I would ask a question. Do you want  
to?"  
  
Lily stared, shocked. "Of course we want to! We're going to die, get our only son  
killed--"  
  
"Voldemort'll be even stronger after we're dead! If we fight him and then die, it's that  
many people fewer fighting to stop him! I can't do that!"  
  
"--and-- wait a second," she breathed. Her eyes widened to an extent that her companions  
hadn't thought possible. A look of revelation spread across her cheeks. "Remember the end of  
the music? It ended in triumph, not in defeat. Which means that our son will live, and defeat  
Voldemort."  
  
"Technically, you will defeat him, but I shouldn't explain that."   
  
The two teenagers looked at him inquisitively, unable to fathom that they would end up  
saving the world from evil. Though they didn't know it, they looked like the perfect couple. She  
leaned against his shoulder while he absent-mindedly stroked her hair. Contented, Lily sighed,  
wanting to put off the whole ordeal of deciding what to do. She knew she had to decide and  
knew that they would defeat Voldemort in the end, but just the thought of leaving a baby alone in  
the world, not to mention *her* baby, was tragic.   
  
James, however, was struggling to comprehend the 'you will defeat him' phrase  
Dumbledore had used. "When you say we'll defeat him, d'you mean just me or both of us?"  
  
"I don't mean both of you, I--"  
  
"Then how am I going to defeat him? In the music he killed me and went on to Lily,  
which means I *didn't* defeat him! He defeated me!"  
  
"As I was attempting to say," the professor said, "you, James, will not triumph over evil.   
It will be Lily whose death will destroy the Dark Lord."  
  
All the colour swiftly left her face. "M-m-me? But--I'm only a kid--what if I can't do it?   
What if, when the time comes, I let him have the baby? What if I fail?"  
  
James hugged her. "Don't worry. I'm sure you can do it, you just have to remember that  
you'd be a hero."  
  
"I'd be a *dead* hero," she muttered rebelliously.   
  
"Better to die a hero than to live your life as a coward," Dumbledore said.  
  
"I don't have a choice, do I?" Lily asked tearfully. "If I don't, Voldemort'll take over the  
world, and I can't let that happen. I love this world too much to give it to him."  
  
With that, Lily Evans sealed a deal that would change the world forever. Knowing their  
fate made their deed even greater, more even than the deed of one who would run up to evil with  
brandished sword and lop of its head in one swipe. No, it takes much to die for someone, but  
even more to know you must die for someone and still live your life. Lily did both of these, and,  
in dying, became more victorious than ever thought possible.  
  
Here ends the tale of the Ladies' Man and his Lady. Though their lives have been  
extinguished, the service they did the world will live on forever.  
  
*  
  
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. None of them are, so don't get mad at me, please. They  
belong to the almighty JK Rowling. When *isn't* she almighty?   
  
Finally, the Roll of Honour:  
  
Molly_Hai l(maybe not soon, but it's out), Lee (it never does, does it?), Julia (cool as in  
icy, or just okay? Thanks!), Princess of Mordor (how're you related to Sauron? You'd think he's  
the King of Mordor, wouldn't you?), Alyssa (yep!), ME (I did, as you can probably tell), Mrw  
(catlike, yes?), Wren (James thinks so much of himself that I'm surprised he hasn't turned into  
Narcissus), Bon (I love to laugh, and it's healthy, too), Madam Rose (longer now, as you can  
tell), Quack Quack 88 (thanks), Bluemeanies (I love the Beatles, and their movie Yellow  
Submarine is so cool. In the meantime, let it snow, let it snow, let it snow...), Pampered Tigeress  
(sorry I didn't email you, I've got a bad memory), NAPPA (yep, polka dots. Fun, hunh?),  
Foxy77( so do I), Potterschik (goodness, I had no idea my writing was so likeable), BabBlGrl (  
as you see, shapter five has been out for a while), Taz (don't worry, it's done), Kit*Kat (cool!   
Mazel Tov!), Astri (sorry it took me so long), Sineadluv ( as you can see, I did), Angeredfairy (  
Happy days to you too! I'm not nearly the best, but thanks for the compliment), Pixie Girl  
(reminiscing is so much fun), Daphne Black ( Thanks so much, I appreciate it), Parselmouth  
Majere (yeah, all fluff and no plot makes Ladies' Man a dull story), Mahree Avocado (I hereby  
conquer this story in the name of Kelika, the Dark Mother!), O'Haragal (wow! So now I'm so  
good it's 'eek' worthy?), Ginny (yep, it's related to the moose), Jackie (we're all hopeless  
romantics at heart. I'm the last person anyone in my school would expect to write romance, but,  
as you can see, I have, and I continue to do so), Skyiela (thanks), Christina (ditto), Kendra (glad  
you like it), Korinna Myorin (this is getting tiring, but I must thank you for the bugging I've been  
getting at school to 'get on with it, for Pete's sake!'), Anna Ambler/Aliness (put something up, I  
want to read 'em), Hot Ice (Lord, my fingers hurt, but thanks anyway).  
  
Whew. That sure took a while, but it was worth it. It's always worth it to make someone  
feel special. Well, I'd best go soak my fingers in water before they swell up. Thank you all so  
much! 


End file.
